Monday, March 1, 2010

I know what you're thinking....

HOLY CRAP! You do still exist! HOOORRAAAYYY!!

No? Ok, well, here I am none the less :)

I have been so un-inspired lately. Like sooo. In everything. So, naturally, how could I possibly write an inspired blog? Can't. Couldn't. Didn't.

I'm not really sure what inspires me anymore. Obvs my kids inspire me to wake up everyday and be the best mommy I can be.  My husband inspires me to be thankful that I have him because I couldn't function without all the wonderful things he does for me and our family (love ya babe).
BUT. and it's a big BUT....what else? I think I am having the struggle that many/most stay at home moms have: Whe ELSE am I?

I love the decision that I made/make everyday, to stay home.  I would not/could not make it any other.  Nothing at all against those that have made the other choice, whether because they had to or wanted to, I just personally couldn't.  So while those working mommies have their struggle about being home with their babes more, weighing work and home, we stay at home mommies have another, wieghing self and home.  I have a hard time putting words to the feeling.  I guess self is right? I don't know, nothing sounds quite right.
Look, I know what I do matters, alot, especially to those around me, but I want it to be bigger, better, more.

Reality check: I just had to pause my blog/pity party/self revelation to clean pee up off the floor. We don't have a dog.  Percpective people.

Anyway, back to me.  I feel a little bit rutty. I have things I want to do, around the house, outside of the house, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do them.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that bring myself out of this rut and do these things, but how?  It's always been hard for me to step outside myself and look at things in a new way, but it seems to be getting harder and harder.

Ok, so what has inspired me in the past?  Music has always been something I love, alot.  All kinds. I love Andrea Bocelli and I love 3 Doors Down and I love Faith Hill. I guess while speaking of music, my obsession with Michael Jackson should be mentioned.  Anything that makes me feel or feel like dancing and I'm in.  I've always loved quotes.  They are on my walls.  I love things that speak to me.  Tell me how I'm feeling.  For instance, my favorite song is "Imagine", you know, "Imagine all the people, living life in peace, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you will join us and the world will be as one."  See, in my head, I'm a glass 3/4s full kind of thinker.  I usually (if I say always, my husband will call me out) give people the benefit of the doubt and see the good in most situations.  I like to think people, on a whole, are good and capable of doing good.

Hang on, this is going somewhere else.  This should be the subject of another blog, and I will do it, promise.
For now, I need to act on inspiration, I need a fire lit under my a$$! Get up! GO! DO! Stop thinking and make it happen! I know only I have the power to make this happen and perhaps putting it out there (the power of positive thinking, or "The Secret" (thanks Oprah)) will help it to be.


  1. So. . . I'm wondering where all of this "need for inspiration" is directed towards? Are you considering a specific change, or is this a desire for general change/growth? It sounds like you're pushing yourself, which is good. Keep it up and fill me in. :)

  2. Rachel my dear bestest friend ever... I think that possibly you are forgetting the impact you have on others?? You know, that could be an inspiration to you to know that you inspire others??? Whenever I have a struggle or lack of ooomph to keep going you are one of the main "rocks" that remind me to keep going. I like to call you one of my cheerleaders. . . This is important, well at least to me and my little family :) Love you!